The Food Craziac

Thu., 1/26/’12, 11:59pm, 185.2 lbs.

zunedita373 — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 08:45:51 +0000

I KNEW there was something I forgot to do today! Raw rice breakfast, water at the gym. Costco chicken and a yam and salad for dinner. Apple dessert… and since Mom keeps bugging me about having a hard boiled egg, I think I owe it to myself to have a midnight snack. So far, I’m on the proper path, and I think I’m overdue for falling off. I remembered the dark chocolate almonds in my dresser drawer, hiding behind the clothes… oh my god! The seal came off the bag! You know that strip thingie? It seals the bag shut… but what happens when the strip thingie comes loose from the side of the bag? Well, it’s not airtight anymore! They’re going to spoil! I’ve got to hurry up and eat them before that happens… and that’s how it happens. Falling off the path of rightness. Hard to stay on it. Guess that’s about all to report. Oh, they did have this thing on the news last night about researchers discovering that, if you sit in cold water, you burn more fat. Duh! I forget how long you’re supposed to do it for… I guess before you die of hypothermia, something like that. Well, my room is damn near freezing in this most dismal of winters… I tried doing a similar version of that last night. I opened the window for fresh air, for one… the power was out last night. I know, what a loss for the blogging world. I didn’t leave it open all night, though, but I didn’t sleep in my comfy sweatsuit like I usually do. In fact, maybe I’ll retire it for good! My feet sure are cold, though. Dad offered to get me a weight loss thing from Super Supplements. It hasn’t happened yet, but I couldn’t help but think, dude! Why didn’t you offer to get me something when I was ABOVE 190? I know, I know, but I’ve been an ungrateful little shit all my life. Now I’m an old, ungrateful shit. Some things never change.

final choc.: none

Tue., 1/24/’12, 11:59pm, 189.0 lbs.

zunedita373 — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 19:08:21 +0000

11:07am – Oatmeal for breakfast! By request. Dad asked me to switch it up. He’ll probably ask me to do that tomorrow as well. Who knows? Probably to never do it again. You know how expensive rice is? Do you? No, you don’t! Why would you know that? That’s REAL knowledge!

6:42pm, 185.8 lbs.! Oh, I KNEW I shouldn’t of weighted myself. Dinner: orange juice, cucumber slices, some sugar snap peas, and of course, the main course: chicken chili over rice. I’d go out and look at the brand of chili, but Dad would probably ask me to do something. He seems to do that anytime he sees me. Ah, the pleasure of slave labour. Someday I might know it well my own damn self. Oh, I should point out how full of $#!t I am… of course, you already knew that. Why, I had to go twice before even going to the gym! Then, while at the gym, I was worried that someone would steal my shower supplies while I was in the crapper: just shampoo and soap; alas, it was there when I got back. Anyway, it was one of those scary bowel movements that doesn’t exactly make you feel better. Guess I lost a lot of water while working out or something. Okay, I’ll leave it at that for now.

Wed., 12:38am – Time to read my food bible again and see what it says about eyes. It notes that eyes absorb radiation from computer monitors; could a Superberry or two do the trick? At the Super Supplements store, they had bilberry pills for eyes. Mabye I need that! Apple for dessert… and that was about it. All she wrote. But I gotta keep going. The power blinked out tonight but thankfully came right back. Still got power! Final weigh in for the night: 189.0 lbs. Been a while since I’ve been under 190. I weighed myself with my sweatpants on just to torture myself a little. It sometimes help. Back on the raw rice regimen tomorrow, though! It seems to work!

final choc.: none!

Sun., 1/22/’12, 11:59pm, 191.2 lbs.

zunedita373 — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 09:09:40 +0000

Damn! Well, that is my weight with my pajamas on, or sweatsuit, which weighs about 2.5 lbs. But I’m still on track to recover all my lost weight. Today I went out shopping. Something about me, I just gotta do that every couple days or so. Today I skipped the anti-Zionist co-op and went to Thriftway, where I saw the carnage wrought by the recent sweeping power outage. Ice cream, gone. Frozen juice concentrates, gone. Lots of frozen sh… stuff, all gone. Oh, I went ahead and looked at their Kozy Shack section… they got bread pudding!!! Peach and cinnamon, something like that. Now I’m thinking I gotta get more fried chicken to help my finger heal faster… I went ahead and bought a half gallon of strawberry apple cider to take to the gym with me. Didn’t quite finish the whole thing; just about 96% of it. Lost a lot of it at the gym as well; sure runs through you awful quick. I just about totally equalized my raw rice breakfast today, but I’ll try to make up for it tomorrow. Spent most of my time in the sauna today. Think I’ll skip tomorrow, seeing as how Dad’s going on a road trip, quasi-business related. Dinner was chicken and spaghetti all rolled into one delicious dish, because we had company, with peas, cucumber, and lots of salt and pepper. …oh, right. More naughtiness. Downed my last RJ’s white choc log. I went ahead and looked in the parents’ stash for those chips, but found chocolate instead! Costco brand Almond Toffee squares. Devilishly delicious. I took just one. I don’t feel guilty enough about it. Apple for “dessert.” Damn, those things are sweet. Okay, … oh, right. Another big mouthful of Sunshine Farm brand dark chocolate almonds. Very naughty today. Definitely right on track to put back all the weight, plus interest.

final choc.: RJ white choc log, one Almond Toffee, lots of dark choc. almonds

Fri., 1/20/’12, 11:33pm, 189.2 lbs.

zunedita373 — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 07:59:45 +0000

Welp, it’s been a while, but now that I’m broke, got no job, still living with mom and dad, we’ve just gotten our power back after 28 hours and 12 inches of snow, and a thick layer of ice over the snow, I’ve just taken a large chunk of skin out of my right middle finger with the handle of a cooler… it’s obviously time for me to return to this damn blog. That’s my weight in just my underwear, by the way. But I’ve got a few things in my favor: I just got a Master’s Degree… and not from the University of Phoenix, either! And my weight’s finally dropping again, and I guess the main reason would have to be that I’ve started my raw rice breakfast habit up again, despite the pains in my chest. Maybe that’s caused by something else. See, what you’re supposed to do is eat a quarter cup of raw rice for breakfast, then wait three hours. If you’ve got no appetite, I’d imagine it’s a great cure because I usually find myself scrambling to get something to eat after the three hours. But I’m doing it to clean out my intestines of parasites; apparently, the American diet is rife with them, but perhaps all global diets have their own unique parasites. Anyway, with the help of this kind of breakfast, it seems to be a slow weight loss march to my eventual destination, kinda like when I was downing lots of cereal covered in raw goat milk, only clearly not as fun. And, of course, whenever I have that for breakfast, my life coach Dad always wants to get me something to eat. Have some soup! Have some orange juice! I’ll eventually get used to it. Anyway, today… what was it? I don’t recall having anything for breakfast! …oh, that’s right. It comes to me now. I had a cup of green tea, heated up on our wood stove! And two hard boiled eggs, ALSO heated over the stove, with half a bagel. The power was out. Quite a bit of food, actually! We’re just lucky the fire department wasn’t out patrolling the houses. Later on, me ‘n Dad went out driving in the snow. The only store of note that was open was our local WinCo, using a BACKUP GENERATOR!!! Good Lord. All the other stores were SOL, because they had their power out too. Well, if Group Health can’t even get power, you know things are bad. It was pretty slim pickins until the power came back on. I celebrated by raiding my chocolate stash of three RJ’s white chocolate strawberry logs, one NuGo yoghurt bar and a mouthful of chocolate almonds. Damn. And I’d been so good up to that point. Why, I hardly had any a’tall! Dinner: a bowl of beef soup, and some slices of Costco chicken. Shame on me. Not much in the veggie department, aside from the suop. Later on, an apple for “dessert.” That was about it. I went on the NordicTrack for a while today. The gym was closed, but should be open tomorrow. I think I weighed about 191.2 this morning. For some reason, chocolate always seems to slightly decrease my weight… lulling me into a false sense of security, so I have some more, and then up the weight goes again, like a rocket to the moon. Well, thank God I don’t have any more money to spend on chocolate!

One other thought to inaugurate my triumphant return to this sad, little blog of mine. I was reminded once again of the trap people usually fall into when dieting: they end up putting back all the weight they lost, and MORE! I can see why, what with cheap caloric temptation all around. Apparently, even Paula Deen finally admitted to having Type 2 diabetes. Slight vindication for Bourdain? Even though he still skews New York douchy? But one thing I have in my favour: this time, I’ve got a bit more muscle than I’ve had before. At the gym, I can now do 210 lbs. on their sit-up machine. Guess I probably wouldn’t want to do much more than that… and yet, I do. They’ve got another sit-up machine that goes up to 210 lbs., but you lean farther back in it. That’s the next challenge, I guess. I can also do 405 lbs. pretty easily on the leg press, and my legs do look rather piston-ish. I’ve also done higher on the freeweight version: about 810 lbs.! I can’t lift ‘em terribly high, of course, but why risk it? I can’t do too many pull-ups at one sitting, as I still got a lot of fat ass to lift up; also, I hurt my arms after doing too many. Gotta work on my voluminous titty fat, of which there is still a lot. I’m not terribly optimistic about my future at this point in my life, but I guess what I’m trying to say is, I kinda am now. Might as well be, considering the alternative. Okay, time to get back to Farmville.

final chocolate: THREE RJ’s strawberry white choc logs, mouthful of choc. almonds… I’ll find out the brand later on

Sat., 8/14/’10, 7pm, 192.4 lbs.

zunedita373 — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 04:01:46 +0000

Brought to you by sex. Sex sells. ¶ Welp, for no good reason I’ve decided to retire this blog and move on with my life. But who knows? An idea this good and this beloved is bound to pop up someplace else in a slightly different incarnation. But before I go, let me spin the tale of one last day ill spent in the company of food. Breakfast promptly at 7:30am or so: oatmeal with strawberries and a little milk. A quick shower and off to class at 8am… I mean, I left the house at 8 to go to class at 9… that’s right. THE FOOD CRAZY_ASS CRAZIAC STRIKES AGAIN! Just for you, my beloved reader. First stop: McD’s for breakfast. 2nd breakfast, that is. For second breakfast: two sausage mcmuffins with egg and four hash brownes. Next, off to Top Foods for some potluck-esque supplies. Specifically, two Sara Lee pound cakes and a pepperidge farm cake. Ah, that takes me back. As calorically enlightened as I think I am now, I can’t help but regress. But I also bought two oolong teas… that’s the only healthy thing I got. I also got the hair of the dog that bit me: a ruby jewel honey lemon lavender sammich, a Soy Delicious chocolate chip ‘ice cream’ asndwich, another tiny-ass dollar Haagen Dazs: chocolate peanut butter ice cream, some more Glee gum… I think that was it. Ate as much as I could on the way to school. Didn’t eat all of the ice cream sandwiches out of guilt. Then, during class, let the snacking begin. I eventually polished off the rest of the mcdonald’s food, had the two teas, had some pound cake, a little pepperidge farm cake, some grapes, went to the vending machine to buy … O’Brien’s beef shticks, that’s right. After school, I tried to check out a laptop from the library. Sorry, you can’t do it. Well, you can, but they can’t leave the library. Pointless. Man, I went on too many bathroom breaks during class. AFter class, I decided… tried to decide where to go. First, off to the car to make love to a pound cake… I mean, attempt to eat a whole one. Couldn’t do it. Apparently a whole one is 1200 calories. Gotta try to lose this damn weight! Definitely gotta go gym tomorrow; school work be damned. I finally picked Fred Meyer where I can get slightly decent fast food… I don’t know if Fred Meyer’s deli stuff is better than Burger King, it just seems that way. Also, I can get my Columbia Gorge organic drinks there. They cost as much as the food I got! Almost a pound of chicken strips, and a CoGo grapefruit. A brief stop-off at the gym parking lot to dispose of my refuse, then off to home for a nap and dinner. Plus all my stuff’s here. Dinner: left-overs, no pita. Tonight: corn tortillas. Dessert: nothing yet, just water. Man, my poop’s a light brown. Must be full of water, like little tiny hard-to-pass $#!t sponges. I need more CG Roxane water jugs. I’m out.

Final choc.: Haagen Dazs Chocolate peanut butter. Tasty!

Fri., 8/13/’10, 10:31pm, 190.4 lbs.

zunedita373 — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 00:51:54 +0000

Brought to you by Facebook Poker. Watch out for the phishers! Oh, those chips are quite valuable indeed. Welp, it’s official: I owe the IRS a little extra for that premature retirement. Finally some time to myself. Breakfast: oatmeal. Lunch: another Taco Bell orgy. Really gotta stop doing that. I’ll never completely stop, of course. Dinner: pitas with chicken/lentil filling. Dessert: probably the usual. gotta get up early tomorrow!!!

10:31pm – Dessert: watermelon and a nectarine. Can’t seem to leave this 190 weight behind!!!

Final choc.: none? But I did have that Lotta Apricotta bar.

Thu., 8/12/’10, 190.2 lbs.

zunedita373 — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 17:31:15 +0000

Brought to you by Poker. Poker sells.

Final choc.: a Kit Kat bar. I shoulda KNOWN that those….

Wed., 8/11/’10, ?

zunedita373 — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 06:51:36 +0000

Brought to you by Krapchek from the planet Muchosar.

Final choc.: nothing? Oh, that can’t be right.

Tue., 8/10/’10, 12pm, 187.2 lbs.

zunedita373 — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 08:24:09 +0000

Brought to you by Bloviar from the planet Postvaricate. Damn! Won only one big hand in poker so far. Better go back to the tournament.

11:46pm. Breakfast: oatmeal with strawberry. Lunch: cherries. Dinner: salad, salmon patty, yam and corn. Went to school. School: a bag of popchips “potato chips”, Gardetto snaque micks, and I bought a thing of peanut mix or whatever the hell it is, but it had M&Ms in it so I didn’t eat it. Dessert: watermelon, and two ice cream sandwiches: Ruby JEwel honey lavender and a SOy Delicious chocolate chip number. Man, I can’t remember the last time I had one of those. And now I’m going to have to pee a lot extra I betcha.

Final choc.: a Soy Delicious ice cream sammie

Mon., 8/9/’10, 11am, 188.0 lbs.

zunedita373 — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 20:13:47 +0000

Brought to you by newsmax.com.

1:!4am, tue. – another epic day. Haven’t found a new kamut source yet, lamentably. I’m looking at my receipts, and it seems like I do a lot more shopping than I think! At least twice or three times a week even. Even though I’m still hemorrhaging money. Went to school instead of the gym today. 188? Oh, please. That’s going back up. Stopped off at a store called Bayview Thriftway. They’ve got a Whole Foods-ish selection, with prices to match. Loaded up on chockies. Stores haven’t banned Mr. Goodbars outright but they sure seem to be getting phased out. Maybe it’s just me. Raisin bran for breakfast, all that chocolate crap for lunch… oh! with a Superfood green drink. Gave me the plop-plops. Spaghetti for dinner. Watermelon & cherries for dessert. GOTTA RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Final choc.: too much. Ruby Jewel choc. peanut butter, a … Rival bar? Dark choc. w/SOME almonds, and four pieces of lame store truffles. I think… HOPE that was it